Monday, August 4, 2008



"i just work here" packed up it's crap (or actually, left it here at this URL so you can always, always read and love it) and moved to TYPEPAD.

why did i do this? you can scroll down and see the post discussing it (which involves me talking about it and no real discussion). basically, typepad offers me more options, although it is at a cost... a monetary cost.

point being, now everyone can link their blogs in their comments and then i can see ya'lls blogs! :)

anyway, change over your links, and obviously, GO HERE:

can i possibly link to my new blog anymore times in one post? yes.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

hot mess

image courtesy of the rib-fest website.

i did see project runway, so i AM allowed to say hot mess...

today was a bit of a hot mess... but parts were also fierce.

we went to rib fest which was surprisingly nice.

-good ribs, and i don't even like ribs
-delicious elephant ear sprinkled with icing sugar
-sam loved the stupid elephants go in a circle ride... made him happy, went on twice
-super, super cute face-painting which was worth every penny to see sam look at himself in the mirror

hot mess:
-4 year-olds have perpetually sticky hands, and hands need to be held at festivals, meaning mom had sticky hands
-mutants, oh my GOD does this city have a ton of mutants that come out en masse for festivals. good. lord...
-same old vendors pushing the same old shit. WHY ARE YOU SELLING SHEETS AT THE RIB FEST?

my grandpa came with us. he's 80. you know what's weird... when my grandma died 3 years ago, i didn't know WHAT was going to happen to him. the year before she died while she was sick, she taught him how to do all the house work and cleaning, but i still wondered how he'd do emotionally. they were always close and in love, but (having watched them go through it)... when your partner is sick or dying and you are caring for them, there is this intimate connection and deeper relationship that comes about through that... and you know, you start to wonder how close two people can get.

i thought he might spend his days wishing he was dead (which i think he did for a while), i thought he might become bitter and unhappy to be here still, and i thought he might waste away until he could finally go be with her. i know he's still very much greiving, but he's been such an interesting man since then... he has a lust for life, he's more in touch with what he wants and thinks, he's reading romance novels... that's weird, right? he's just such an interesting person... and i don't know what i'm trying to say, either than how impressed i am that even though he's had a raw deal several times in his life, he remains a loving, zestful, and fun man... now that's a feat.

anyway, rib fest: fierce, grandpa: fierce, sticky hands: hot mess


So yea, I am doing NaBloPoMo this month. WHY? Because I'm way insane. The whole deal is that you have to post once a day for one WHOLE month. Woo...

This month's theme is HOT and so I thought I start with how I've been painfully hot-headed as of late.

1) I called the cashier at Fabric Land a bitch. That's right, I did it. She accused me of trying to SCAM a $1.80 card of buttons into the "4/$0.99" section. Indeed, she figured I was trying to cheat Fabric Land out of $1.55 CANADIAN. After she said, "oh, I guess it fell in there" I simply refused to speak to her. She handed me my bag after I paid (I HAD TO HAVE THE THINGS I WAS BUYING FOR AN ORDER, OR I WOULD HAVE WALKED OUT) and I said nothing. This... bitch, then had the nerve to say, "uh, you're welcome." That's when I said it...

2) I was at Angelo's (an Italian deli/lunch spot) waiting in line to cash out. An old man with a wire basket started edging up on me, finally jamming the basket into my back to prod me forward. Umkay... First, why do you need to stand so close to me? I have a personal cylinder of at least 1 foot, which I think is completely generous compared to other cylinders. Secondly, poking me? Really? I'M WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND to join me, he's behind you. If' you'd back the EFF up, he could get in. I may have mentioned one or all of those things to him... I don't know if he was shocked or confused, or didn't even hear me (which is, in fact, a possibility) but he backed up and proceeded left into the next aisle.

3) "Eli, stop picking your fingers or I'm going to punch you in the face!"

... things are pretty mental around here... and I realize I need to try and keep it together as I attempt to finish up (I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE, BECAUSE SOMEONE SUGGESTS THAT I SHOULD PROOVE A FACT OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER AGAIN 85 bazillion different ways, and YES, I know I'm being one of those students that thinks they know better because they want to get out of there). I don't want to be one of those grad students that I make fun of. I think I'll go take a lavendula bath and m e l l o w.

Anyway... see you tomorrow when we talk about more HOT things (could be more of me complaining). :)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

a little help, here, please.

fact is, i can't make a blog post without a picture. this picture is courtesy of Sam and his kids' digital camera, and it relates not one bit to the blog entry at hand...

i feel that i don't ask for much (i totally do).

i'm trying to make my readers happy, i want you to want me. i need you to need me... didn't i didn't didn't i see you cryin'? sorry, sometimes that songs creeps into my head. interestingly enough, so does, "the greatest love" by whitney houston. my head is a really bad place to be for songs. i hate both of those songs.


my point was that dear readers/travellers to 'i just work here' are displeased with the lack of links to websites/blogs and such. in my head, this is a limitation of blogger (which isn't backed up with any good science, but i'm working with that theory anyway). i have signed up for typepad... seems like the linking/trackback options are far superior... go here to see and comment with LINKS!

however, i can't seem to get things to work for me in terms of putting up my banner, customizing my sidebar content, etc. etc.

this would be a big move for me, moving my blogher stuff, re-directing traffic to the new blog, old links out there to the old blog... etc. etc.

is it worth it? is there somewhere that will tell me QUICKLY how to get typepad to meet my needs? i can figure most things out (see posts referring to my auxiliary brain), but i need to do it quickly.

anyway, HELP ME. help me either get blogger to do what i want with links in comments, or how to get typepad to be more user-friendly (the preferable option).


Monday, July 21, 2008


as a tribute to my 30-ness (sometime this week, NOT YET, still 29)... I have decided to take you on a magical trip through my last 30 years on earf.

1 year old. things to note: a) i am in a car on someone's LAP and it's moving. b) i am NOT with my parents. c) that thumb was in my mouth until i was about 15 years old, that's a secret, don't be tellin' people that.
2 years old. my first time flashing my bling, a sign of things to come. in fact, i just put a big, fat, over-done black and white diamond ring on layaway. yes, layaway... my sister works at the jewelry store part time, so i gots CREDIT. but i'm not taking it home until i graduate, or i come up with another $1100. whichever occurs first ($1100). this has nothing to do with being 2 years old. 3 years old (no, i won't do all the years, promise). there's nothing to note here other than how rad my coat is (i'm the blonde). that little girl with me is lisa. i have NO idea where she is today, her, OR that coat.
7 years old. what did i tell you about the thumb? this is me with my little sister, emily. that's actually MY bear. it came with a bracelet that broke, and em is drooling on it... also, i sign of things to come.9 years old. this is where i started to care about my hair, and in doing so... destroyed it. it's not that bad, wait until you see the next picture.13 years old. see, when i feel stressed i like to change my appearance. we were moving to canada and i was terrified, so i decided to get a short haircut. word to the WISE, don't cut curly hair short. i'm sure i'm making a list of all the things i hate about moving to a new country even if it's still english-speaking. things like, "dude, milk comes in BAGS here and why can't i get now-n-laters?" note the caboodles in the bottom left corner, awesome. eli says that with this haircut, i am a dead ringer for ian ziering, or steve from beverly hills 90210. he loves this joke and uses it at least weekly.
14 - 15 years old. okay, now here is 2 years worth of asshole sweater pictures. whassat? an asshole sweater is one made by a crazy relative that they make you put on and pose in front of their crazy wall hangings in. these are courtesy of aunt mary. believe it or not, i had a steady boyfriend at this time who thought i was pretty cute. he never, ever saw these sweaters or this house.17 years old. prom. this is when being a little sister sucks (see poor emy there). being a little sister rocks when you're not the one at home with a 4-year old and socks on the floor and more cushion for the pushin'. then being a little sister rules.
19 years old. first car. i feel jazzy about it, obviously.
21 years old. ELI!!!! (see up-stairs of me). in exchange for my parents paying for and supplying eli and i with a wonderful, fully paid for wedding, we helped renovate the house the year before. i spent more time on those stairs painting than when i turned 19 and started getting DRUNK and crawling up them to bed at 2 am. we were pretty intimate then, the stairs and i. 23 years old. LOOKITMEEEEEE, i finished my undergrad in biology to... work as an assistant manager at a clothing store. weeeeeeeeee! here is me with my two favorite staff-people, fiona and alicia... we're posing like the losery mannequins from "le chateau" down the mall hall. we oft wondered why they contorted their mannies in that way. but really, who are the losers here? that's right, US. none of us work there anymore.25 years old. at 25, i had a baby, and got fat. let's just move on to later, shall we? (there's only 2 more, hang in there).27 years old. sad fact, i was working at the above clothing store as a manager again. at least this time it was part time as a student. actually, the SADDER fact is that i was a student then, and continue to be so now. but yea, 27.

29 years old. here i am with my babycakes. i've said it before, and i'll say it again... i was into the punch at this wedding (there was a choice... i went into the 'alcohol' line).

well... i'll have to show you a picture of what 30 looks like when i get there in a couple days. i think it looks like this with longer hair... but you know, best to be sure.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

it's a potpourri of uninteresting crap

don't you feel like potpourri SCREAMS the 80's for some reason?

i've got nothing good to say... ever happened to you? i'd love to blog to you fine people, i truly would but i've got nothin'.

i could explain how i've had a migraine 10 days out of the last 14, with the longest stretch being 5 days in a row. how i nearly died taking migraine medication and wasn't breathing while i slept. but really, that is so boring/whiney.

orrrrrrrr we could discuss how i have made more bling slings in the last 3 weeks than i ever thought i'd make in a year and it's not over yet... brides are ordering them in groups for bridesmaids' gifts. also, eli, myself, my sister and her new fiance (also newsworthy but only if you're a real-life friend) are all going to Vegas in october because i've been asked to be a designer in the upcoming "Sunday in the Valley" exclusive shopping event held at the Palms Casino. but honestly, that is also so DULL if you're not me, owner and operator of punchanella.

i could complain about how bored and broke i am. yea, welcome to life.

ummmmm, i made really good pesto from my garden? that was interesting. so much buttery taste when it's homemade. NEVER BUY JARS OF PESTO AGAIN, ew.

i'm going to be 30 next week. that's mildly interesting. i'm not having any sort of crisis or moment, i don't need any help from my girlfriends (i don't really have girlfriends like in the movies) and i am NOT NOT NOT getting any kind of manicure/pedicure/facial. gawd... i'm just going to continue to pay down my GORGEOUS black and white diamond ring i am buying myself for not dying up 'till now.

i am contemplating having swiss chocolate ice cream with snickers worked into it from Marble Slab for dinner.

my living room floor is covered in a duvet (my husband brought it down at 6am to watch the british open and never brought it back up) and megablocks. that is SO my life.

anyway, AS YOU CAN SEE, i am totally uninspired lately. you should all suggest ways to un-slumpify.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

eff the beach.

today we tried the beach again. busy day but we found a primo spot. it was AWESOME, there were big waves and Sam was loving it to bits. but waves come from wind, and wind means pelting sand. and pelting sand means abraised skin, gritty teeth and scratched eyeballs.


Monday, June 30, 2008

'let's drive to the beach, no one will be there!'

friday night me and eli figured, hey, it's 34C (ie HOT), let's go to the beach and watch the sunset. we packed up sam and our beach belongings and was great. just us and a stormy hot sky. while we were making sand castles, it became apparent that the flies were going to be an issue. flies are assholes... yup, they are. they wreck nice things. think of the last time a fly DIDN'T bother you. whether it's on you or a turd, you wish it would go away.look closely at the poor, poor beach bag:the little bastards bite. hard. i couldn't keep them off of me. i thought, maybe i should be wet so i got all wet. nope. okay, i need to be sandy! sand will keep them off my skin, so i rolled in sand, abraisive yet no relief from the flies. FINE. oh wait! i accidentally brought bug spray with us (don't ask). um, no they love the smell. WHAT IF I SPRAY THE BUG SPRAY ON THEIR FACES? they fall off, and then get back up and bite me.

i couldn't stand still. i had to keep moving like i had to pee or something. why they didn't bite sam or eli, i'll never know. the two of them had SO MUCH FUN... while i sat there and slapped myself all over. eli finally accepted that the flies could keep up with me while i RAN and were eating the crap out of me. time to go. sam was SO mad. we got into the car SO fast, because literally if you opened the car door, FLIES CRAMMED IN to eat you (me). after we got over that obstacle, we began the trip home. now, the beach we go to is in a provincial park that both eli and i have been going to for the last, oh... 17 years. there is NO reason for us to have a difficult time finding the highway. especially when there are signs, like this one. see... shopping carts, 1km, highway, 4km.i only took a picture of this sign, because i swear to you, we drove by it 7 times. in different directions... all in the span of the 1.5 hours it took us to find our way out of the park. ugh.

when we got home at 11pm, i had to put my sleeping child into a bath to get the e. coli from the polluted lake beach off of him, not to mention the sand out of his bum.

i mean, for me, this trip was a little bonkers, but sam and eli had fun and so i guess i did too. anyway, moral of the story, don't try to be cute and go to the beach when no one else is there, there is A REASON WHY NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO BE THERE.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

warning, i am insanely angry/distrubed...

To the parents of the 6pm class children at The Little Gym,

1. Um, shut the hell UP, please. Your incessant talking at an above 'inside voice' level in the hopes that we'll listen to your inane bullshit and perhaps jump-in is making me want to toss a chair at you. You're not interesting, you're irritating. I just want to watch my son have fun, not learn about your son's poo consistency.

2. Someone should say this to you and I'm going to take one for the team: You are raising CRIMINALS. WHY do you make excuses when your sons are pulling the teacher's hair and sticking their faces in her crotch and breastal region or smacking her across the face with the mooshy ball. Why do you LAUGH? 'Boys will be boys', really? You're making me die. Good lord, parents... do you realize in 10 years you'll be making excuses for why they stole a car hopped up on meth and raped a girl? Seriously, control them while they are 3' tall. Seriously.

3. I didn't want to go here, but, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? I know you've given up on sex, that's infinitely apparent by how you and your cell-phone addicted husband are interacting, but you really don't care that you are wearing a big sign that says "don't pay attention to me" on your chest? Holy crap, I hope to never, EVER see someone wearing head-to-toe red gingham and knit with "i just can't wear those heels anymore because I'm on the go with my boys, but these are kinda neat with the velcro, don't you think?" shoes again.

4. Sweetheart, your children are not going to the olympics. Neither is mine, NONE of them are. It's for FUN, and if you discuss any of your childrens' actions using gymnastic jargon again, I'm calling Bela Karolyi and telling. If you want your child to be an olympic gymnast, you might want to enrol in private classes with a trainer and quit your job. But if you're going to be in the 6pm class at The Little Gym... CHILL.

5. Don't you think it's slightly disturbing, if not outright dangerous that a 4 year-old is running your show? They aren't capable of rational thinking, let alone knowing right vs. wrong and yet, they are in charge? WOAH.

Maybe I'm experiencing the rage that comes only to those trying to finish up experiments and write a thesis before September. Maybe that's why I had to bitch and complain to my husband for over an hour about how awful you were. And sure, I had a fit earlier today when I was using the tape dispenser worthy of arrest by the police... but I still feel at least SOME of my anger/frustration towards you is warranted. People, I'm telling you this out of love, SAVE YOURSELVES, get control of those children and be the boss, because I know you're living in a hell of your own making.


Friday, June 13, 2008

singer featherweight 221 links and help

look what i got!!!

<---- a co-worker of mine that was amazed that i could "sew" on a "sewing machine" told me that when she moved into their house, she found an old sewing machine in her attic. she tried to get it to work, but the tension was all jacked up and she didn't like the smell. in fact, she only kept it because she liked old things. she said she'd bring it in for me to take, and i thought, "cool, wouldn't it be awesome if it were an old singer" to myself, of course because i don't want to look like a nerd. (which i am).

she did bring it in, and i was totally amazed. this singer featherweight from 1938 is MINE!!! i told anne they were a nice little piece and worth money, but she insisted that i take it. she's the nicest woman on the planet. THANKS ANNE.

me and 'lightweight' are having lots of good times already. she's 11.5 lbs and has a box with a carrying handle, so we went to my mom's to sew last Sunday... which was really nice.

i love this machine.
MY ADVICE: if you are getting an old machine, GET SOMEONE to service it for you before you start sewing with it. i know it's tempting, but sewing while the parts are dry will spell disaster. also, ASK YOUR SEWING MACHINE guy to tell you about the featherweight quirks... (the threads tangle if you don't hold them when you start; if it jams, wind the wheel backwards hard, never forwards; etc. etc.) because i avoided having to learn all those things on my own like i did with stylie (recall: nearly throwing sewing machine out of window). however, if you're like me a year ago, and you're broke... there are lots of resources on the web (see below) that will explain how to clean and oil your machine yourself. i just couldn't stand to go through it again. lastly, DON'T PUT modern-day household cleaners on your machine, you'll destroy the japanning (black coat). use furniture polish and wipe it dry while it's still wet to avoid spots. (not that i've been all that great about cleaning it, but a reliable source gave me this info).

now, i don't know much about them, but as i research the featherweights, I'll post the links just like i did for stylie.


this is what i used to research the history behind the featherweights, to determine which model it was, and what year it was made:

here's the manual in PDF and it's got nice, large, clear diagrams...

this is a forum that is devoted to old singers and their attachments, and there are quite knowledgeable ladies on there... Singer-Attachments

and actually, if you're looking for attachments, which i haven't purchased yet but plan to, i would start here, because it looks like the real deal: (she's the creator of the above forum): mytwothreads

that's all for now, i think. i'll update as i go.


Thursday, June 12, 2008

the war of the sexes ALWAYS continues and it's making me sick

This is Noah. He's stupid. For real. He's cute and all, but real bad. Here he is sitting like an idiot on the stairs.

Noah (or Nosey as I call him) is a liver spotted dalmation. You may have seen his father on the Westminster Dog show this past winter... he won best in breed. He's black dotted. Nosey isn't show quality because he has a patch on his right ear. Not that he'd be shown anyway, because he'd hump the judges and eat the flowers.

To be clear, I DID LOVE NOSEY, dumminess and all up until he started beating up on his big sister, Fia. She's show quality. But, also not shown at dog shows or whatever, because we all have jobs. She's just a pet, like Nosey. Nose has decided to torture Fia. She's depressed, for real. He humps her, bites her, growls at her, and won't let her come near people. I walked into their room (they have a room) the other day and she was hiding in the corner while he walked around like a dullard. Poor, poor Fia. Stupid, stupid Noah.

To be fair, Fia used to be really messed up. Here she is as a puppy:

She was uber adorable, and very sweet. But violent. She was a biter like there never was. I figured it was all the DHA they were cramming into the puppy food. You know, just because you find something in human breast milk and decide to put in in formula doesn't mean all species need it. Really, they're dogs. They should be off breast milk by the time they come home. Just my theory. Anyway, she was a tiny alligator. She's great now... greatest dog ever next to the really greatest dog ever, a black lab-ish mutt named Millie who could find a cedar chip 3 acres away in the night if you threw it that far. And catch anything. And also rip a turtleneck off your body over your head in one hilarious motion if you got close enough to laying down while wearing one. ANYWAY. My point is, maybe there is help for dummy-face Nosey. Maybe.

Friday, May 30, 2008

june cleaver hates me.

Here is an actual email I sent moments ago to a good friend of mine. We had plans for her to come over and watch movies. She asked if we needed to rent the movies...

Well, I have an extensive library of children's movies, so I think we're set. :| What movies do you have? The real option, as I see it, is renting something off of Rogers on Demand. Easy, peasy. Eli has my car, or I'd come pick you up.

For SOME reason, I decided to rearrange the furniture after work. I've yet to make dinner, and the house looks like we just moved in. Please, please come over to my insanity. I'm just going to do a little more picking up. Don't judge! ;) Pee before you come, my bathroom is BROKEN. You'll have to use my upstairs bathroom, and well, there's definitely laundry strewn across the bathroom floor and into the hall. Possibly toys, definitely dust. You've been warned.

So, like... 8:30? Just come here. There may be dishes in the sink. Alternately, I may be dead on the floor. Whichever.

See you soon, booze! I mean Keeley!


What's even awesomer is that I finally made my child a BUTTER sandwich with goldfish crackers and milk for dinner (it's what he asked for). Cartoons have been on for a solid 2 hours. He's wearing no pants because he's into that, and to be honest, I'm wearing my husband's boxers because it's hot and my shorts are too tight (damn you, winter!). I found more junk on the floor while I was sweeping, and rather than put the things where they go, be it in a drawer or in the garbage, I threw them BEHIND THE COUCH. Lazy. I totally give up. I joke like I think it's funny, but I'm a domestic failure.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

give your kids tickets... fuhcuz it works.

a while ago i was talking about this woman who was using tickets to get mornings to go smoother and i said i wanted to try it.

yea, i never did it. but last week, my friend christine was all, 'how are the tickets going?' and i had to admit that i never did it. shameful.

so, i did... that night. i got all the supplies and made it up. interestingly, the only actual tickets they had at my local walmart said either "beer", "liquor", or "refreshment". my sister was pretty sure "refreshment" was safe, but you know... why WOULDN'T i buy colored index cards and special stickers to make my own tickets... right? that's what i did.

it's working QUITE nicely. he gets up and gets dressed, puts on his sneaks, finds his backpack... all without me begging or yelling. it's amazing. he also eats most of his dinner, doesn't splash in the bath, and brushes all of his teeth. the cleaning up the toys one, that's not such a hit.

he gets an average of 20 tickets/day. so far he's traded in 3 times. price for rewards range from 10 to 100 tickets, with the ones he wants most priced at around 20 to 25 tickets. part of the key to this, i think, is having a box or bucket to store them in. we count them a couple times a day and talk about what he's saving for. it's good for his math too (as much math as a 4 year old does), how many do you have, how many more do you need, how many will be left when you trade in...)

OH, i almost forgot... he found my stash of index cards and got out his own stickers and made some counterfeit tickets. so watch for that. i'm sure he wasn't trying to cheat...

anyway, i rate this as an A+. i know people are concerned about teaching him to do things only for reward, and the effect may indeed extinguish... but for now, we aren't yelling and crying (and yes, i do mean WE) in the morning.

no time for lurking, only giving me feedback.


These are my "Bling Slings". I take a lot of weekend trips, not because I'm extravagant or lucky, but because my extend family lives 3 hours away, and sometimes I get to go to conferences. That's... it. The only reasons I leave the house overnight. Grandpa and science. Anywaaaaaay...
I also wear a ridiculous amount of jewelry and I am terribly afraid of losing or damaging it. So I had this old Chinese brocade jewelry roll that I used when I traveled. It's good, I'm not saying it's not... but my whole mantra is that things that are useful should also be GOOD LOOKING.

So, that's why I made the Bling Sling (yes I always take this long to tell stories).

Anyway, I showed these to the ladies in my lab today, and they basically gave me blank stares. Well, one of them played with it (thanks Julia) and another was surprised that I MADE it on a SEWING machine, and the third... she was engrossed in her sequences and I'm not sure she even looked. My point is... 2 things came out of the showing. 1. No one could tell what they were without being told, and 2. They were comfortable shoving their jewelry into random bags and not worrying. (FOR SHAME!).


Please, please, please post and tell me.

Yes, POST. Post a comment, lurk not!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

'quiche' isn't eggs, it's 'quiche'

and that's why 4 year-olds will devour it! because eggs are gross, but 'quiche' is awesome.

i made these babies for nights when my son won't eat what we're eating either because it's hot, it's curry, or it's non-existent because i'm too tired to make a dinner. i put them in the freezer and then i take one out and microwave or re-oven it.

disclaimer: dear moms, i KNOW there are no vegetables in this, but i was faced with the fact that on quiche night he either he eats dairy and some protein with no vegetables and has fruit for dessert, or he eats none of the above anyway because there are veggies in the quiche and then we all lose. it's a personal choice, but obviously you can add a veggie if your little one will eat it.

okay, here's the easy deal:

you'll need enough pastry for 2 pie shells, now whether you make your own, or buy them in the freezer section (i don't judge), you'll have to cut them into ~6" diameter circles. if you do buy them in the freezer section, just leave them in the tin to thaw for 15 minutes, and then take them out and flatten them.

take your 6"-wide pastry circles (you need 8 circles) and pop them into giant muffin pans (for mega muffins which are too large to eat). bake them at 350F for about 6 minutes, until starting to get golden. set aside.

to a medium sized bowl, add:

3 beaten eggs
1 1/2 cup milk
1 tsp onion powder
salt and pepper
6 slices of ham chopped

mix it all up (kids love to do this part and it's worth the egg splatters that end up being surprisingly hard to clean off the counter)

in a small bowl, combine:

1 1/2 cups of shredded marble cheese
1 tbsp flour

(technical note: i just put in the cheese, sprinkle the flour over top and shake it up and down until the flour makes it's way through the cheese, that's good enough).

add the cheese/flour to the egg/ham mixture and stir stir stir.

okay, now pile the quiche filling into the baked mega muffin-sized pastry shells. put them filled into the oven at 350F for about 30 minutes, until they expand and get nice and golden.

you can either consume them immediately, which is what happened to the first batch i made, or let them cool and wrap them for the freezer.

when you re-heat in the oven it takes long so make sure you're not in a rush if that's what you're doing. microwaving tends to lessen the pastry crisp, which is a bummer... but that's much quicker.


p.s. if anyone tells my son that 'quiche' is eggs, you're dead.

Friday, May 16, 2008

never EVER use FedEx to ship internationally. NEVER!

FedEx are Asses. A story by Sarah...

Hallmark magazine: Hi! We love one of your products and are considering it for our magazine article. Would you please send us your product overnight so we can look at it?

Me: YES!

FedEx: Overnight service, $60.00 (me forks over the money).

FedEx: Oh uh, we forgot to get ahold of you, but your box is being held at OUR customs facility. We just need to ask you questions twice and get the same information. (me answers questions).

Box: I'm totally LATE!

Hallmark magazine: I'm sorry, your items didn't make it in time and we had to make a decision. Sorry!


Insult to injury... the items come back from the magazine...

FedEx: Hello, um, we're charging you $30.00 in duty on your package coming from Hallmark Magazine.

Me: WHA? They are MY items, they were fabricated in Canada, they were commercial samples. I don't have to pay duty.

FedEx: Our mistake. That'll be $30.00 or you don't get the box. (me forks over money)

Fast forward to Monday of this week...

Book Publisher: Please send us your projects that we're putting in the book by Thursday the 15th or you're out!

Me: Hey Fedex, Um... can you send these items to this book publisher by Thursday, 4 days later?

FedEx: Yes, but it's going to be $40.31 and we'll OVERNIGHT IT.

Me: I don't want overnight. I want over 3 nights.

FedEx: Then it's not guaranteed. Overnight is guaranteed.

Me: FINE. (me forks over money).

FedEx: Hi, it's Friday... your items are at OUR customs facility.


FedEx: Oh yea, sorry... we had you fill out the forms wrong. Our bad.

Me: I'm enraged, you've cost me over a thousand dollars at this point in lost revenue and fees paid.

FedEx: Tough shit.

SO BASICALLY, I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW. This is the second project that I have not been able to take part in because my items didn't arrive on time. Are you EFFING KIDDING ME? Why didn't I learn the first time, you ask? I didn't realize that 'fluke' could happen twice.

If the publisher FedExes them back to me, and I have to pay duty on my own items again, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!

So. Mad.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

how i avoided immediate suicide...

a while ago i got the genius idea from my constant paranoia that i should really be backing up all my files, because my business and my schooling depended on what was on my laptop. DEPENDED. that involved buying CDs and being really diligent in remembering to do it regularly. so basically I never, ever did that. then i was reading someone's blog and they were talking about mozy. it's this thinger where you upload your files to some sort of server and they 'back-up' your stuff by keeping your most current upload, which you can set to happen on a regular basis without thinking (please excuse all my highly technical jargon there). i signed up because it was FREEEEEEEEEEE.

fast forward to last thursday... i brought my laptop to the lab but forgot my plug so i ran down the battery all day figuring i'd charge it up when i got home. well, my computer AC adaptor (or worse, and yet to be determined, the plug HOLE in my laptop) stopped working, and my computer slowly died. i had 10 MINUTES to think quickly about what files were most important (it's sort of like when you play out the house fire scenario, what do you grab after all the people are out? what? (the pictures)). then i was like, I'LL JUST DO A BACK UP TO MOZY with these 10 minutes i have left, and then i'll have EVERYTHING i backed up! so i did it. and now... even though my heart is way broken about my misfortune, i've got all my files.

i read about it, and mozy gets complaints about it not saving everything you set it to save, but so far, i've yet to find something i couldn't get. knock on wood.

point is, i have to insist that you go to mozy and sign up yourself... it might save you from throwing yourself out of an upstairs window!

Monday, April 28, 2008

no more peeping tom jerks!

because i made a little bathroom window treatment (how totally domestic!). i saw this jobbie in one of my sewing books; it's hard to tell from the pictures because of the FLUORESCENT LIGHTS, but it's quite darling in the room in addition to blocking all creepies!

yay making a home out of a rented house!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

my sewing un-hibernated last week

and here are the results! one is a new product that my husband named the 'iHug'. little known fact, eli is fabulous at naming things (recall nomenclature abstractions, anyone that knows him... in fact, nomenclature abstractions warrant a post of their own; note to self). ANYWAY.

the iHug is a cozy little way to protect your iPod. really, no explanation is required... i found the tutorial for it here, and the actual tutorial she references is here. look, there's one now!
and another!
and everyone together.
alright, that's enough of that.

now, the other thing i did was make these pot-belly doorstops. they're just like the other doorstops, except that i used an interfacing that promoted a fat-belly shape. initially i wanted to throw them out the window, but when i woke up the next morning and saw them all on the floor together, there was something puppy-like about them; oh right, their fatness. adorable!

Monday, April 21, 2008

hella cute and fast movin'

look what i got! how speedy/adorable is that rabbit?

volkswagon is my new hero. i had never driven one before last monday morning, but the second i sat in the ass-warming heated seats, i was sold and i knew i would do whatever it took to make it mine.

it took everything, by the way.

and here's a big shout out to you PETER PARK at LONDON HONDA, you prick, for making it so damned difficult to pick up my new car from the VW dealer. first you lied to my face about the price of a new civic DX-G for an HOUR AND A HALF, like i'm some sort of idiot who can't do simple addition. i might not have taken a math course since first year (mind you, it was calculus), but i still remember enough to know that your price was $30/month higher than the manufacturers suggest retail price. thanks for inspiring me to try out a different car altogether (and yes, WESTGATE HONDA did really give us that price i told you they did). as if that wasn't lovely enough, peter, you decided to REFUSE to send the VW dealer a bill of sale so they could buy my civic's lease out and allow me to drive the new love of my life... 'lapin' off the lot and into my driveway. CLASS ACT, PETER. i hope ANYONE asks me what i think of you, or london honda, i'll be too thrilled to give them my opinion.

all things being equal, i should mention that i highly recommend dealing with LEAVENS Volkswagon. It was pleasurable... and if i got lied to and totally cheated, i don't even care because they took such good care of me. I hope someone asks me what I think of them, because I'll be glad to share that as well. :)

alright, i've vented enough. suffice to say, my 2008 VW rabbit is the best car i've ever driven, and if i could sleep in it without upsetting Eli, i totally would.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

i like to try new things, usually it ends in ruin.

soooooooo, in the end of march, the little one and i popped some seeds into some dirt pucks.

i mean, it wasn't as casual as that...

last year was the first year i had dirt at my residence... ie, NOT an apartment but a house. i LOVED it. i bought and planted so much stuff, so much. it cost me a million dollahs and i was poor all summer. literally. so i figured this year i would start seeds indoor and try to rid myself of some of the cost as well as have MORE plants. so i took my calendar and marked the exact number of weeks until may 2-4 when i could plant outside and proceeded to follow the seed packet directions to the letter.

well, stuff started to grow immediately, namely the morning glories have gone insane.

someone tell me what the hell i do with these things... i made the executive decision to stick wooden skewers into their pucks so they had something to climb on, but i fear that it won't stop them from climbing onto each other in one giant mass. also, how big are they going to be by may, for god's sake? do i transplant them (where do i put THAT)? do i leave them in the tray? what? WHAT? these are never going to make it outside before they die, are they. :(

so seriously, PLEASE ADVISE me on how to care for these things.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

how i found out about my auxiliary brain.

okay guys, this is my brain. yes, MY very own, 100% me, picture of my brain. my sister was doing a study where they were doing some brain imaging via MRI, and asked me to participate.

i learned something about myself that day, and not just how many folds are in my frontal lobe.

as i was getting prepared to enter the 'magnet' it started to occur to me that one could, if they were prone to such things, feel claustrophobic in such a place. but i was there for science, i was there for better treatment options for stroke and cancer patients, i was doing it for my little sister. and why should i feel afraid, afterall, the opening at my feet would be open even after i was loaded into the tube. in there was a MIRROR so i could see my feet! i was sure i'd be fine.
but something started to hit me as i slid into the tube... i was nervous, i was apprehensive, i was all out afraid. my sister reminded me about the PERKS of being in her research study. i decided to tough it out. however, once you're in the tube, and you've finally calmed yourself down, then they start the scan. it's the LOUDEST grunting-type noise imaginable and it's going round and round your head for minutes on end. i was in there for almost an hour. an hour of going "you're okay, this is all in your head (literally), be strong, stop whining, you're not going to die in here."

i will NEVER, unless totally required, go into the death tube again. never. and all i have to show for this total fear is $50 i spent and three views of my brain.

interestingly enough, upon closer examination of my brain, i noticed a small, 'auxiliary' brain atop my regular brain.

what the hell is that? well, friends, by way of reasoning: if my sister's scan (data not shown) showed no auxiliary brain, yet mine did, and the only difference between us in terms of brain capacity is my ability to understand and manipulate electronics/machinery, then this is what's responsible for "sarah's small engine repair" which is what we call it when i fix things; the remote, my sewing machine, your camera, the VCR, toys, you name it, i will jimmy it until it's fixed. this is the extra hunk of brain that lets me program the VCR clock.

i've also seen the inside of my stomach on TV, but that's for another day.