Friday, January 11, 2008

what would chuck norris do - amazing facts.

1. if you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

3. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

5. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

6. Chuck Norris played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

7. Chuck Norris doesn't read books . He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

8. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

9. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

10. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

11. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

12. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

13. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

14. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1 CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

15. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

16. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

17. Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen Sandiego.

18. While taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

19. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

20. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

*adapted from www.


RandomNotions said...

wow this is the greatest and most enlightening thing i have ever read!

punchanella said...

and it's all fact... that's what i like about it.

TenJewel said...

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist - Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Very funny, thanks for the laugh!

alicia said...

if only WE could harness our rage like that!

CastoCreations said...

OMG! This is hilarious! I like the photo too. Looks like Chuck is kicking my dog's butt. lol

punchanella said...

well that's the thing about chuck, if he wanted to, he totally could/would.


i also love the walker texas ranger lever on conan. that makes me cry every time.