Friday, February 22, 2008

i truly did spit a glossette onto the keyboard

check out these AMAZING arm warmers a seller on etsy made...

CRAP

courtesy of mon favori, gigababy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

why its so good we're both married already.

i work hard, right? i mean, i'm a mother and wife, i go to school full time, i'm running a business on the side... i deserve certain things, like an attractive husband. if you ask me (you just did) eli's the hottest thing on two wheels or feet or whatever. but when he does things like this...

i wonder, what did i do to you to make you walk around like this? what. i know what you're going to say eli... and you're right... but i don't think i've ever pulled a shorts-wool sock-moccasin look. never. nope.












but honestly, where do i get off?

<----THIS is what i did tonight. you guessed it... i annotated sequence and made point form notes about what my adviser and i need to discuss tomorrow. WOOOO! p.s. how fun is guitar hero? i played it for the first time this past weekend. up until then, i had totally openly mocked any and all who loved it... but now i understand. it includes all sorts of things i love: a) rockin' out b) singing c) hand-eye coordination d) drinking (okay that is not recommended by the manufacturer). anyway, it's so fun, i want it.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

spherical things


thank jeebus. today google bestowed upon me ads for how to make money off your blog... uhthankyou. and if you scroll down a tad, we've got ads for food and wine... ahah! mon favori!

see, it only took a few days. TOUGH OUT THE less than cool ADS, you can do it.

still, i have no clicks so i didn't make any dough, but that wasn't the point anymore, now was it. well, it is still the point... the point of cool ads was a tangent point.

i'll stop.

i'm super exhausted. LONG DAY. i have sat here all night doing pretty much nothing except tickling the kid. i love his giggles. i've been waiting since 8pm to eat strawberries, but i've been too lazy/tired to get off my ass and clean them.

lastly, i married my husband for lots of reasons... one of them being that he wasn't one of those guys that touched their balls. i mean, seriously that is disgusting. keep that in mind when you are choosing a partner, ball jiggling is not acceptable no matter how cute he is. somewhere down the line the cute appeal is less important, and the lack of ball touching keeps you together. YOU HEAR ME, ELI?

out.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

what google thinks of me, day 2

recently, as in, yesterday i added google adsense. they've made some associative decisions and came up with this for my first day of advertising.

phew! today we're off old people nappies, and onto baby ones. now those i have experience with... is there some sort of 'keyword' analysis going on, or is some dickbrain reading blogs going... yea, we'll start with anal itch creams and progress to hair removal products from there.

well google adsense... you can't beat me! i will continue to wait until i graduate to ultra awesome ads. geriatric paraphernalia doesn't scare me! eventually you'll advertise gum and shoes, and i'll be here... waiting.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

google knows my secrets


i just added google adsense because i don't know... thought i'd give it a whirl. it was on my list of blogger options and i said, hey... whatev.

then it tells me earlier today that soon it will start to show RELEVANT ads. what is the first relevant topic it tackles? INCONTINENCE. dude, how did google know?

ughhhhh... this is like when someone searched "what not to do with your sewing machine" and was referred to my blog. :(

to be clear, i do realize it's a common problem and that lots of women deal with it, and that's no fun. i do have to wonder, however, WHAT depends have to do with the united nations...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

movies i love that are really quite ridiculous

These are the movies that when brought up in casual conversation with people I'm not close to I say, "Pshhhyea, that movie sucks so bad. Fersure, uhuh." But really, I love um. You may notice that these are all from the late 80's to early 90's... it was a bad time in movies, and a bad time in me (bad fashion choices, poor hair decisions, terrible taste in boys... it all went hand in hand).

1. Houseguest. This is a delicate meshing of Sinbad and Phil Hartman. It involves hilarious moments such as "speed golf" and the daughter's punk boyfriend named "ST3". You can sit there and say it wasn't hilarious, but it totally was.

2. Back to the Future Parts 1 through 3. 1. Back to the future... Buzz marries your sister! 2. Back to the past... Buzz finds your sports stats book from the future and strikes it rich on the betting scene! 3. Back to the wild west... I don't remember what Buzz was up to but it was unpalatable to you and you had to act to change history.

3. True Lies. Jamie Lee Curtis is pretending to be a hooker for Arnold and falls doing a slutty stripper move on the bed post. Genius.

4. A Christmas Story. I HAVE to watch this movie during the holidays. Ralphie's little brother all bundled up in that snow suit with his arms stuck up is an image that goes through my head every time I get the little one ready for outside.

5. Annie. Daddy Warbucks says, "she's not an orphan, orphans are boys". Punjab dances around while singing "we got annie". It's a completely insane thing to love, but I do.

6. Beaches. COME. ON. It's got everything... showbusiness, boardwalks, best friends, verandas, marriage, bitch fights, terminal illnesses...

7. The Goonies. Chunk makes friends with the deformed brother chained in the basement because he ALSO loves candy bars... and said deformed brother saves their asses on the pirate boat that they were going through a terribly dangerous booby-trapped laden course to find because it contains one-eyed willy's treasure because they're moving away... and so all bets are off.

8. Dirty Dancing. Okay, to be clear I actually hate this movie, but it has to be on this list simply because I was so disgusted that I watched it over and over again and remembered every single part so that I may mock it in every day life for the next 20 years and more. Ask my sister... we make reference to it's total lack of coolness daily.

9. What's love got to do with it. I can make the sound of the ambulance moaning up to Ike's house after Ike's girfriend tries to kill Tina in her sleep because she's jealous. I can.

10. this one's for you to fill in... tell me what movie you love that if asked, you totally deny.

:)

Friday, February 8, 2008

i would weep if it weren't so complicated to do ANYTHING

so whatever, i try to keep it lady-like, but today sucks butt.

husband snored (like usual) until 2am. i kicked and hit him, not completely on purpose but because i was delirious from LACK of sleep over many, many, MANY years (9 years next week, to be exact)... but no change in nasal honkings occurred. but, because husband has to teach at 8am on fridays, we have to get up at 6-something to do all the RIDICULOUS driving in order to get all 3 of us where we go. we had just dropped my husband off, when i RAMMED into some chick in an SUV in front of me at a stop. fabulous. (**edit: the damage to my car alone is $1900... weeping has now officially become uncomplicated, and i have begun to do so**)

first i got out of the car and put my hand to the window in a "stay!" like command to the car (like it was a puppy... my parents started using hand signals to train the dogs and that, in itself, was a hilarious thing, nevermind me doing it 7 years later to a car after i got it into an accident).

i was really eloquent and on top of my shit too, because i was like, "i wrecked my uh, the um... (*snapped fingers twice*) LICENSE plate. i smashed it. your car looks okay though. are you okay?" she's like, "are you okay to pull over onto that side street?" clearly i DIDN'T look okay, even though i thought i was... i guess she picked up on the hand signals to the car and the inability to find my words.

regardless, i gave her my insurance info (i had to use her pen, because i had no pen... and i judge people that have no pens, they're clearly disorganized... ME).

then i called my MOTHER and broke down crying because i couldn't call my husband because he was busy teaching people (and the fact that his cell phone is at my mom's because he was sledding with the little one and made a 'jump' out of snow, and then proceeded to FLIP over it, shooting his cell phone out of his pocket and into the snow, little did we know... requiring my mom to go out at 10pm calling it with her cell to try and find it in the dark.

MY LIFE IS CALAMITY sometimes, it's evident as i attempt to explain all the reasons why i got in an accident and couldn't call my husband.

anyway... i get into daycare finally to drop off the little duder, and the daycare lady was all, "wow! you're hear so early today! look, mommy even has to look at the time to write it down to sign you in". what does she care if we're a 9:30/10:00 family? WHAT? this was a moment where i had to ACTIVELY not be a total witch, because i do love her taking care of my child and i requested specifically her room for that reason. but i was like... fighting it.

i decided to NOT do my labwork, because i have started fires/spilled chemicals/contaminated my clothes on more that one occasion, and i just felt like today was an opportunity to do just that.

now i'm sitting at home, waiting for 12:30, and then i'm going to radiation safety training; day 2. YUP, my life... is fun today.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

respond to the poll, help a sister out.


















i have been asked by a publishing company to submit one or more tutorials on how to make cozies (ie, things that keep your items cozy, like an ipod case, or a phone holder) for a book they are doing about making, well, cozies.

i am pretty excited. while it's not the most amazing pay in the world, it does put my items into bookstores, which is worth more. i really want to submit something unique for sewers to make...

when i submitted the doorstops to hallmark, the associate editor told me that she loved them and they were great quality... but the colors didn't work with the layout and pieces they had already chosen but to please get ahold of her when i have new products out. i felt upset, but i'm pretty confident about those little doorstops, they're a good seller, and they're something that i LOVE... i'm not confident about a lot of things, but i think the doorstops are A+. anyway, rejection is part of it... and at least i DID get solicited by HALLMARK!

back to the book. i want to submit projects that you think are pretty strong. i've set up a poll on the left hand side of my blog, and if you would oblige, could you respond to the poll so that i can send in my strongest...

kthxbye.