Thursday, March 27, 2008

sometimes kids think they're little bosses

my husband thinks it's HILARIOUS to tell me our 4 year-old is bossy because of me. then i remind my husband to be quiet like i told him to until his time out is over. hmph.

anywho. i was stumbling (which is starting to be a bad/good habit of mine lately) and i came to the Blog, specifically this post. Go glance, if not read, so we can discuss... done? Okay.

I think this is a really good idea. I'm not into children being the bosses and masters of their own destinies. I think society today has gone a little too far with toddler 'rights'. Okay? Maybe that makes me archaic, but seriously, children have to do what WE say... because we're rational, and they aren't, my friend. Fact. Where was I? Anyway, this book she suggested seems well intentioned. I have a book with a similar message that was published in the 80's (don't ask) which works on the same premise, reward rather than punishment.

The tickets/rewards specifically is what caught my eye. If you read her more recent posts, you'll see that it worked swimmingly. I think it's worth a try. And I also happen to love making charts/posters of any kind, as well as playing with tickets.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

endometriosis: life ruiner

it started a while ago... about 2 years after my son was born, i just noticed that i didn't feel 'right'.

i started to notice that things that are normally associated with menstrual cycles were occurring ALL MONTH LONG. pelvic pain, fatigue, headaches, bloating, general grumpiness, sore breasts... etc. i noticed that my periods felt extreme, i would say every month "this is the worst period i've ever had!" the bleeding was extreme, the exhaustion was like something out of the first trimester of pregnancy, and the migraines that lasted for a week, they were the worst part.

later that year, i found a lump in my breast. it was nothing and all i have now to show for it is a scar where the biopsy needle went in. my regular doctor recommended i not remove the lump, saying that since its only crime was pain and the potential to grow, i didn't have 'enough breast tissue anyway' and taking it out will remove half of what i do have. also, off the birth control pill in an effort to help out with the pain.

about a year ago i told my doctor i felt like my hormones were out of control again. she suggested i go back on the birth control pill to try and even those feelings out.

well, 6 months after that i woke up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in my lower belly. i leaned on my bathroom counter in pain for about 15 minutes and started to shiver (like when you're having a baby without pain meds). i decided it was time to wake up my husband and when he didn't know what to do either, i called my mother at 3 in the morning. she said that i had better get to the ER, so i suited up my little family and went. the newbie doctor suggested it could be constipation... a half hour later the older doctor came in and said, 'it's an ovarian cyst rupturing, would you like anything for the pain?' i declined and went home.

a month later, it happened again, but this time it was during sex. i should mention that sex nearly ALWAYS hurts (my whole life, in fact). anyway, another cyst ruptured and when i went to the ER that time, the nurse suggested that i might just be there for pain medication and really i should just go home. angry and hurt, i did just that.

when i talked to my doctor, she seemed angry that neither time did a doctor do an ultrasound to accurately assess the situation. she sent me for one later that month, but it was just after my period, and anything that was there was gone. nothing to be seen.

she said it's endometriosis and told me to keep taking the pill. she also gave me a prescription for pain pills. i love my doctor, but she didn't suggest to me how i should deal with endometriosis, how i should deal with the hormonal issues or the pain. she didn't tell me what i should expect when i tried to conceive again. she just... sent me home.

well, i'm trying my hardest to deal with this stupid-ass condition, but i'm failing miserably. every month is a crap shoot. will i be in pain, will i have migraines, will i be exhausted and moody the entire month, or will it just ruin things for one precious menstrual week?

i don't know anyone with endometriosis so i turned to books. the diets they suggest rule out dairy, meat, soy products and grains. hmmm, i'll eat... vegetables only, thanks.

others suggest the key is effective use of pain medication. i'm supposed to take these pills when i 'expect' to have pain and take them until i 'expect' the pain will end. ohhhhkay. i HATE TAKING PILLS. medications are high on my list of things to avoid.

stress minimization, another key to effective living. well, don't get me started on that one... it's not even an option, especially when i miss at least 3 days a month of work because i am in pain, exhausted and experiencing the worst migraines i can imagine.

i don't think that people understand what it's like. i feel really judged and misunderstood. i want it to go away, and i want my life back to normal.


Monday, March 24, 2008


well, that's great. super. uh huh... yup. my son just yelled that from upstairs. HE'S 4.

what drove him to such strong words? i told him (after 4 days of NON-STOP TIME TOGETHER) that I needed some alone time. I suggest he go play trains in his room for 10 MINUTES. Just 10. Then he trashed his train set in order to get me up there to fix it. I beat him at his own trick by putting cartoons on for him (I'm a crap mother). I know what some of you are thinking: "poor woman, stuck with her adorable son for 4 extra-loving days straight, the HORROR!" I'm not a stay at home mom, okay? For good reason... I get really irritated with being climbed and goobered upon, yelled to, splattered with food, tripped, cried at, noodle-legs-ed at, candy OD'd upon and the like. Four days straight is a marathon for me.

Anyway, he's done NOTHING I asked him to do today and now he finally starts mouthing off.

And yes, HE DID HEAR THAT TYPE OF LANGUAGE FROM ME, I'm sure. (I said I was a crap mother).

Ugh, as much as I don't want to go back to the lab tomorrow, I think it's the safest place for me to be when my sanity is concerned.

Friday, March 21, 2008

my very first authorship (not science-related)

i just wanted to post quick to say that ALL 3 of the projects i submitted to the publisher got ACCEPTED and will be in their new book! i am SOOOOO excited. thanks to everyone that helped me pick projects to send!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

it's still more fun to make babies the regular way

but look what i learned today!!!

this is an embryo held by a holding pipette (i know, why couldn't they have called it something more logical!) which is on the left, being injected with the filling of my choice by the injection pipette (again, totally cryptic) to the right of the embryo.

isn't that amazing? i can, correction, i must do that now!

this is similar to the process they use in IVF clinics (IntraCytoplasmic Sperm Injection: ICSI) only in that case the injection needle has a larger point and is beveled like a needle (so the spermy can fit in). i was just squirting in a fluorescent solution so that I could then see if my juice made it into the embryo. but soon i'll be injecting far more interesting (to me anyway) things.

now i just need embryos.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

he is gonna melt into my arms.

i watch the bachelor. why? well... sentimental value, i suppose. the first time eli and i moved away was rough. the first night were were there eli was busy at school and i was stuck by myself in a cave of a townhouse with nothing but boxes and the smell of bunny pee (thanks previous dirtball tenants) to keep me company. i found a spoon and a jello pudding and plugged in the TV and sat on a box. who got me through my first night? the smell of wet cardboard and the bachelor, that's who.

i'll save you the essay i have prepared on the bachelor (i love/hate it). NO ONE on there ever reminds me of myself or anyone i know (who ARE these women?). the closest anyone ever comes are the ones that are pharmaceutical or medical sales reps, since so many science undergrads turn to the gleam of science sales to ease their broken science hearts. you get a car and you wear heels to work, all while using your blood-earned science degree. not that i ever considered it *cough* because i'm a real girl-scientist.

anyway, THIS year there is a grad student on the roster. a real, actual grad student (or so the text beneath her name tells me on the screen). but sadly, again, aside from the too-drunk-at-the-party aspect, we have very, very little in common. see for yourself:

Dear Stacey from The Bachelor,

From one school girl to another:

Thing to know # 1. Your undergraduate degree in nutrition does NOT qualify you to "find a pharmaceutical that will cure something that no one has thought of." you have to go into pharmacology to do that. trust me, i actually know.
Thing to know # 2. The bachelor NEVER keeps the promiscuous chick longer than 2 weeks. It's a failed strategy on the show as well as in real life...

Good luck with your future endeavors!


Thursday, March 13, 2008

i'm a survey ho, fo sho.

i don't know if it's the researcher in me or what (it is), but i am so pro-survey it's ridiculous. i'll take a survey on nearly anything, for serious.

i just think it's important that when someone is conducting a survey, hard core research, marketing or otherwise (VOTE IN YOUR ELECTIONS, PEOPLE!) that in order for it to be at all useful it has to have a LARGE and as random a sample as is humanly possible, so i always encourage people to participate. you know, the results of surveys always trickle down to the little people... through policy change, better marketing/products/customer service, better social programs, better laws, etc. etc. so TAKE SURVEYS.

in fact, i have one for you to take right now. go. do it. do it for the researcher in me and all those little people out there. people always have opinions, and surveys allow you to voice them.

Monday, March 10, 2008

warning: challenging these truths will result in screaming and thrashing

reasoning and logic by my 4 year-old

1. breasts are called "pom poms" as is evidenced by the fact that bras are called "pom pom holders for girls". example, "mommy, can you please move your pom pom holder for girls?"

2. people are only eyes, noses, bugars, legs and toes (see my diagram of an actual illustration to the left).

3. it's perfectly reasonable to take your pants off as soon as you walk in the door of the house. and it's not only okay for 4 year-olds, it's okay if the whole family takes their pants off (in an effort to show said 4 year-old how ridiculous it is when people don't wear pants). in fact, everyone with no pants on is just more fun.

4. your left shoe goes on your right foot and your right shoe goes on you left foot. every time.

5. this spells table: "SNAHTRO." and if you don't know that... well, be prepared to get screamed at.

6. you don't have to eat dinner, you can go straight to dessert.

7. in order for a mommy to get a baby IN her belly, you have to cut in and put it there. and to get it out, same deal.

8. the most likely answer to "what's that on your bum?" is "uh, stink." silly me, i thought it was a red bump.

9. you don't have to say goodbye to people when you want to get off the phone, you just put it down and walk away.

10. protein is bad for you. it makes you sick. that's totally why you shouldn't eat beans.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

inane crap, meet death. death, try to ignore inane crap.

so... i've been enjoying gigababy's posts where she posts a bit of her diary from the days of old, and i really liked the honesty put forth by moosh in indy about her life... then i saw this website, mortified and that was entertaining in a whole different way, and i remembered... i have a gazillion pages of journal entries starting from age 13. so i was all... i should look through them and post something funny/interesting.

well, i learned something about myself today/yesterday... i'm super boring and totally inane. GAHD. could i have talked about anything more interesting than my boyfriend? i mean, aside from the story lines of my terribly one-sided and potentially dangerous relationship at 19 and when i met Eli, broke up with Eli, and got back together with Eli and married him... there's nothing much to report. in fact, the things that MIGHT have been interesting were glossed over or written in codes i thought i would remember in 15 years because i'd be in my room grounded still if my parents ever saw it...

point is, buncha crap. but then i found this in amongst the extremely non-issue parts of my days... and it's the only entry where i DIDN'T mention my boyfriend.

Monday, September 6, 1993

Well, it's an extremely crappy day. This morning at 9:33 exactly the phone rang. It was Grandma Babe calling nto give us some bad news. Okay, Danny, Aunt L's son died a long time ago, right? (He died as a very young man in a tragic accident) Well, his son, Danny died last night (This generation's Danny was a year younger than myself, which would put him at 14). They died the same way, only big Dan was on a motorcycle and little Dan was on a bike. It's kind of ironic the way it all happened. They both died young. They died the same way. Anyway, Danny was with his mother in Virginia. His mother lets him run wild by the way. So, he was just coming home from fishing and a car hit him. No one knows who did it or why, it just happened. Last time we were in New York we were all at Aunt V's and Aunt L was there too. She was talking about Danny and his death and seemed to be finally accepting it. Mom said she never heard her talk about it. As soon as she gets on with her life, it happens again. I'm sure it's like re-living Danny's death again. Grandma said that all the aunts and uncles were down to Aunt L's to tell her but she was sleeping and didn't hear the door (it was 2:00 in the morning). So, they all went over to Diamond's (family friend) to call her and wake her up. They also had to find M, J, and R (other sons, big Danny's brothers). It happens that M was there (he was pretty much Danny's father after Danny died). Grandma said that now he is just curled up on the couch and isn't moving. Grandma and Aunt D were walkingn home from Diamond's and they heard Aunt L screaming. That was when they told her. It's all so sad. Not only that someone is dead, but all the heartache and sadness everyone feels as well. Mom just sits and cries while she does things ex. cooking. I feel very bad for everyone. I really didnt' know Danny. He was in Aunt B's wedding with me and I danced with him at the reception, but that's basically all I know. Stupidly enough, I used to think about him. I always think about him every time I go by the park by Uncle M's. I don't know why. Now, he's dead.

This is likely a confusing journal entry, if for no other reason than the fact that there are approximately 43,487 aunts/uncles named (yes, I have that many, my Grandma was one of 11). It was just really sad. Since the death of Danny, my Aunt L became very close with her only daughter-in-law, W. She had a few more Grandchildren, and in 2004... her only daughter she'd ever known (W) died from lupus, leaving her son and his children on their own. When her sister (my Grandma) died a year later, she told us she wished to God he'd just take her already. I couldn't love her anymore... she's full of humor and love and everything good, and I'm sorry she's seen so much death.

Anyway, my point was just that looking back on adolescence, it's total crap and I'm glad it's over.