Wednesday, March 5, 2008
inane crap, meet death. death, try to ignore inane crap.
so... i've been enjoying gigababy's posts where she posts a bit of her diary from the days of old, and i really liked the honesty put forth by moosh in indy about her life... then i saw this website, mortified and that was entertaining in a whole different way, and i remembered... i have a gazillion pages of journal entries starting from age 13. so i was all... i should look through them and post something funny/interesting.
well, i learned something about myself today/yesterday... i'm super boring and totally inane. GAHD. could i have talked about anything more interesting than my boyfriend? i mean, aside from the story lines of my terribly one-sided and potentially dangerous relationship at 19 and when i met Eli, broke up with Eli, and got back together with Eli and married him... there's nothing much to report. in fact, the things that MIGHT have been interesting were glossed over or written in codes i thought i would remember in 15 years because i'd be in my room grounded still if my parents ever saw it...
point is, buncha crap. but then i found this in amongst the extremely non-issue parts of my days... and it's the only entry where i DIDN'T mention my boyfriend.
Monday, September 6, 1993
Well, it's an extremely crappy day. This morning at 9:33 exactly the phone rang. It was Grandma Babe calling nto give us some bad news. Okay, Danny, Aunt L's son died a long time ago, right? (He died as a very young man in a tragic accident) Well, his son, Danny died last night (This generation's Danny was a year younger than myself, which would put him at 14). They died the same way, only big Dan was on a motorcycle and little Dan was on a bike. It's kind of ironic the way it all happened. They both died young. They died the same way. Anyway, Danny was with his mother in Virginia. His mother lets him run wild by the way. So, he was just coming home from fishing and a car hit him. No one knows who did it or why, it just happened. Last time we were in New York we were all at Aunt V's and Aunt L was there too. She was talking about Danny and his death and seemed to be finally accepting it. Mom said she never heard her talk about it. As soon as she gets on with her life, it happens again. I'm sure it's like re-living Danny's death again. Grandma said that all the aunts and uncles were down to Aunt L's to tell her but she was sleeping and didn't hear the door (it was 2:00 in the morning). So, they all went over to Diamond's (family friend) to call her and wake her up. They also had to find M, J, and R (other sons, big Danny's brothers). It happens that M was there (he was pretty much Danny's father after Danny died). Grandma said that now he is just curled up on the couch and isn't moving. Grandma and Aunt D were walkingn home from Diamond's and they heard Aunt L screaming. That was when they told her. It's all so sad. Not only that someone is dead, but all the heartache and sadness everyone feels as well. Mom just sits and cries while she does things ex. cooking. I feel very bad for everyone. I really didnt' know Danny. He was in Aunt B's wedding with me and I danced with him at the reception, but that's basically all I know. Stupidly enough, I used to think about him. I always think about him every time I go by the park by Uncle M's. I don't know why. Now, he's dead.
This is likely a confusing journal entry, if for no other reason than the fact that there are approximately 43,487 aunts/uncles named (yes, I have that many, my Grandma was one of 11). It was just really sad. Since the death of Danny, my Aunt L became very close with her only daughter-in-law, W. She had a few more Grandchildren, and in 2004... her only daughter she'd ever known (W) died from lupus, leaving her son and his children on their own. When her sister (my Grandma) died a year later, she told us she wished to God he'd just take her already. I couldn't love her anymore... she's full of humor and love and everything good, and I'm sorry she's seen so much death.
Anyway, my point was just that looking back on adolescence, it's total crap and I'm glad it's over.