Monday, March 10, 2008

warning: challenging these truths will result in screaming and thrashing

reasoning and logic by my 4 year-old


1. breasts are called "pom poms" as is evidenced by the fact that bras are called "pom pom holders for girls". example, "mommy, can you please move your pom pom holder for girls?"

2. people are only eyes, noses, bugars, legs and toes (see my diagram of an actual illustration to the left).

3. it's perfectly reasonable to take your pants off as soon as you walk in the door of the house. and it's not only okay for 4 year-olds, it's okay if the whole family takes their pants off (in an effort to show said 4 year-old how ridiculous it is when people don't wear pants). in fact, everyone with no pants on is just more fun.

4. your left shoe goes on your right foot and your right shoe goes on you left foot. every time.

5. this spells table: "SNAHTRO." and if you don't know that... well, be prepared to get screamed at.

6. you don't have to eat dinner, you can go straight to dessert.

7. in order for a mommy to get a baby IN her belly, you have to cut in and put it there. and to get it out, same deal.

8. the most likely answer to "what's that on your bum?" is "uh, stink." silly me, i thought it was a red bump.

9. you don't have to say goodbye to people when you want to get off the phone, you just put it down and walk away.

10. protein is bad for you. it makes you sick. that's totally why you shouldn't eat beans.

4 comments:

RandomNotions said...

well duh...didn't you know all of that already? i mean don't we all run around pantless avoiding beans with only our toes and stink for company?

alicia said...

he must have learned all that from eli...

WillThink4Wine said...

Priceless. Isn't it a shame we all grow up?

Gigababy. Tips are appreciated! said...

I love the phone anecdote. So true.