Monday, June 30, 2008

'let's drive to the beach, no one will be there!'

friday night me and eli figured, hey, it's 34C (ie HOT), let's go to the beach and watch the sunset. we packed up sam and our beach belongings and went.it was great. just us and a stormy hot sky. while we were making sand castles, it became apparent that the flies were going to be an issue. flies are assholes... yup, they are. they wreck nice things. think of the last time a fly DIDN'T bother you. whether it's on you or a turd, you wish it would go away.look closely at the poor, poor beach bag:the little bastards bite. hard. i couldn't keep them off of me. i thought, maybe i should be wet so i got all wet. nope. okay, i need to be sandy! sand will keep them off my skin, so i rolled in sand, abraisive yet no relief from the flies. FINE. oh wait! i accidentally brought bug spray with us (don't ask). um, no they love the smell. WHAT IF I SPRAY THE BUG SPRAY ON THEIR FACES? they fall off, and then get back up and bite me.

i couldn't stand still. i had to keep moving like i had to pee or something. why they didn't bite sam or eli, i'll never know. the two of them had SO MUCH FUN... while i sat there and slapped myself all over. eli finally accepted that the flies could keep up with me while i RAN and were eating the crap out of me. time to go. sam was SO mad. we got into the car SO fast, because literally if you opened the car door, FLIES CRAMMED IN to eat you (me). after we got over that obstacle, we began the trip home. now, the beach we go to is in a provincial park that both eli and i have been going to for the last, oh... 17 years. there is NO reason for us to have a difficult time finding the highway. especially when there are signs, like this one. see... shopping carts, 1km, highway, 4km.i only took a picture of this sign, because i swear to you, we drove by it 7 times. in different directions... all in the span of the 1.5 hours it took us to find our way out of the park. ugh.

when we got home at 11pm, i had to put my sleeping child into a bath to get the e. coli from the polluted lake beach off of him, not to mention the sand out of his bum.

i mean, for me, this trip was a little bonkers, but sam and eli had fun and so i guess i did too. anyway, moral of the story, don't try to be cute and go to the beach when no one else is there, there is A REASON WHY NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO BE THERE.

6 comments:

Jan said...

I HATE those little black flies and Lord A Mercy, they do bite. They love me too so I literally feel your pain....but I LOVE the beach when no one else is there too.

J-Mi said...

i too love the beach when nobody else is there. i seem to have that issue with bugs too, they come at me (like flies or mosquitos) and not other people. I've heard something about there being different (chemicals?) attracting factors in people's skin that attract bugs to some yet not others...

sorry you got chewed on. :(

alicia said...

they only bit you because you're so sweet and vodka filled.

punchanella said...

on a serious note, the only thing i can think of is like, delicious smelling soap and lotion... right? i smell like a flower? SAY IT.

La Alicia said...

I'm sorry to hear that the flies mistook you for an all you can eat buffet! oh, maybe the other alicia is right...they bit you b/c you are so sweet! :)

Gigababy said...

Love the shopping carts "this way" icon. Oh hear. I LOL'd