Thursday, June 12, 2008

the war of the sexes ALWAYS continues and it's making me sick


This is Noah. He's stupid. For real. He's cute and all, but real bad. Here he is sitting like an idiot on the stairs.

Noah (or Nosey as I call him) is a liver spotted dalmation. You may have seen his father on the Westminster Dog show this past winter... he won best in breed. He's black dotted. Nosey isn't show quality because he has a patch on his right ear. Not that he'd be shown anyway, because he'd hump the judges and eat the flowers.

To be clear, I DID LOVE NOSEY, dumminess and all up until he started beating up on his big sister, Fia. She's show quality. But, also not shown at dog shows or whatever, because we all have jobs. She's just a pet, like Nosey. Nose has decided to torture Fia. She's depressed, for real. He humps her, bites her, growls at her, and won't let her come near people. I walked into their room (they have a room) the other day and she was hiding in the corner while he walked around like a dullard. Poor, poor Fia. Stupid, stupid Noah.

To be fair, Fia used to be really messed up. Here she is as a puppy:


She was uber adorable, and very sweet. But violent. She was a biter like there never was. I figured it was all the DHA they were cramming into the puppy food. You know, just because you find something in human breast milk and decide to put in in formula doesn't mean all species need it. Really, they're dogs. They should be off breast milk by the time they come home. Just my theory. Anyway, she was a tiny alligator. She's great now... greatest dog ever next to the really greatest dog ever, a black lab-ish mutt named Millie who could find a cedar chip 3 acres away in the night if you threw it that far. And catch anything. And also rip a turtleneck off your body over your head in one hilarious motion if you got close enough to laying down while wearing one. ANYWAY. My point is, maybe there is help for dummy-face Nosey. Maybe.

3 comments:

alicia said...

dude, even your family's animals are out of control.

punchanella said...

what do you mean "even", you mean "obviously", right?

fuhhhh.

alicia said...

obviously. :)